Renozilla

You may have guessed by our radio silence that things have been a little slow-going over at Reno 1432 for the past few weeks.  Electrical and plumbing work has taken a lot longer than we anticipated and now we’re waiting on the inspector to come make sure everything’s up to code before the carpenters can get back to work hanging sheetrock and piecing things together.

It’s hard to watch things come to such a halt, but I’ve gotten pretty spoiled over the last 30 years by indoor plumbing and electricity so I can be patient.

While the inside hasn’t seen much visual progress, several things have moved along on the exterior.  Like the house was pressure washed for the first time probably since I was born. New fascia was installed on the front of the house because it was actually cheaper to do that than to fix what was already there, and the rest of the trim is primed and ready for paint. The new (to us) exterior antique doors that we picked out a few weeks ago are prepped so we were able to pick those up and deliver them to be painted/stained and have new glass installed. The HVAC unit has been moved from right under where the new door from the kitchen to the backyard is going which meant duct work, too. The back patio’s ceiling is being repaired annnd, you guessed it, Michael spent more time clearing the backyard.

When I write it all down, it doesn’t seem like a lot compared to when things were really moving and shaking during the demo phase. But I think this is just the calm before the storm and if I’m honest I worry we still may not have battened down the hatches enough just yet…

You may have gathered than I’m a planner. I like organization and spreadsheets…a lot. I take notes and make checklists for everything or else, let’s be real, I wouldn’t remember what day it is. I was like this before I was a mom and now there is…“pregnancy brain.”

I know you mamas out there feel me when I say that making a human tends to drain your abilities significantly. I’ll never forget when I was in my third-trimester with Alice and I drove to Walmart, sat in the parking lot for 10 minutes trying to remember why I was there and then decided to just leave because I couldn’t face actually going inside. Or trying to bring up simple words. Like…chair. Example: “I’m going to sit down in this…um…hm, what’s this thing called…uhhhh….it’s a…oh well, wonder if we have any ice cream?” This is not an exaggeration.

I used to secretly judge my friends who had children before me. I thought, they’re just weak and using pregnancy as an excuse to be lazy. This is my formal apology to all of you. Pregnancy brain (or “mom brain” in general) is a thing, a real thing and turns the most competent of us into people who might just stare blankly after you’ve asked us a question because that day we can’t seem to understand English, our first language.

For that reason, I make lists for the simplest of tasks or I might show up to work without my pants on.

So when I say I’m afraid we aren’t ready for the impending storm, what I mean is – EEEK WE HAVE NO CHECKLIST!! There are far too many moving parts when you’ve gutted an entire house to keep up without a good system.  Siding, trim, doors, windows, flooring, sinks, faucets, handles, knobs, molding, stain, lighting, cabinets, counter tops, appliances, tile, cables, wires, outlets, switches, a thousand paint colors – and that doesn’t even touch on the decorating and furniture. I need a checklist.

Really, I need an entire handbook. Like pages of instructions, suggestions and worksheets we can fill out and have ready for those phone calls when they need your answer in .4 seconds or else the crew has to go home for the day.  I’m sure if you had it in your budget this is one of the big reasons you hire a professional designer.  But we’re in a battle for hardwood and new toilets here, and professional design services are just not in our future.

Google has produced some almost-but-not-quite-what-I’m-looking-for results. The best I found are these spreadsheets which I think I can tweak to work for our purposes. I’ll definitely share the new version if I happen to find time to do that so if you’re a Type A weirdo like me and start a home remodel you can have your checklist ready to go!

Just don’t blame me when all the men around you (including your husband) start referring to you behind your back as Renozilla.

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